Sometimes I think I should have been a Quaker. It’s taken me a lifetime, now 62 years, to realize that worship for me takes place in silence or very minimalistic atmospheres. I knew this as a child, but for various reasons have been distracted from that initial calling. Now, in the second half of life, I'm reclaiming aspects of life that have nourished me but I abandoned.

There are typically two distinct, though related approaches to spirituality in the Christian tradition. First, the kataphatic practice uses tangible things to help us understand and experience God. Second, a kataphatic spirituality employs words, images, sounds, symbols, and ideas to express what God is. For example, we might say that "God is love" or “God is passionate about the poor” or “God is always and everywhere present.” Many practices feed the kataphatic path, such as singing, preaching and teaching, petition/intercession/thanksgiving, liturgy, Bible study, and service. This path is the dominant expression of spirituality in western Christianity. It's also particularly favored in places like the United States, which is a highly extroverted culture.

Markedly less dominant but equally valuable is apophatic spirituality, which explores the ineffable reality of God, which lies beyond our ordinary comprehension. In the apophatic tradition, we attempt to express or describe what God is not. A simple understanding of this would be to use phrases that describe God is not, such as "God is not a male being" or “God is not finite.” But it extends to other attempts such as "God is unknowable" or "God is beyond names." Again, one thinks of Moses' conversation with God in the burning bush story from Exodus. When asked by Moses for God's name, the response is Yahweh, which is Hebrew for "I am" God is existence, life or as the late Paul Tillich put it, "God is not so much a Supreme Being, being itself."

The apophatic spirituality is attractive to persons who enjoy and appreciate silence, solitude, nuance in language, and simple expressions of prayer and meditation. For example, suppose you are attracted to time spent alone on retreat, walking by yourself in nature, or simply sitting with a single candle in a sparse room. In that case, you likely prefer an apophatic spirituality. You may also think there's something wrong with your spirituality if you attend worship in a US-American congregation. Rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you; it's just that you are in a community that values kataphatic spirituality.

The words “apophatic” and “kataphatic" are derived from Greek words—apophasis, to move away from speech or "unsaying," and kataphasis, to move toward speech or “saying.” It's important to note that not one way is better than the other, and no matter your personal preference, there is value for all of us to engage in both. As for me, I've come to the awareness of my strong preference for apophatic spirituality. But, I also benefit from public worship gatherings that include singing, preaching, and the rites and rituals of a community gathered.

Contemplative prayer is the practice of listening to God, listening to the sacred, listening to the mystery. As I practice it, this takes the shape of a distinctively apophatic spirituality. There are more word and image and structure-based forms of contemplative prayer. For example, one thinks of Ignatian Spirituality that has a different series of steps and practices. My approach doesn't resonate with those methods, but I can see how kataphatic spiritual practitioners value them. Here's a link if you think you might prefer that approach.

My practice of contemplative prayer sits comfortably in the apophatic school. I find profound comfort in the breathing prayer outlined by others, but I learned it from Richard Rohr, the Franciscan priest. Simply put, I sit comfortably and in silence. As I breathe in, I say to myself, "Yah," the first syllable of that phrase given to Moses so long ago. As I exhale, I say, "Weh." Most often, the saying of these syllables is silent, but you can also do it aloud. The simple repeating of this breathing in and breathing out with Yahweh is an expression of apophatic spirituality. I can practice this meditation anywhere, sometimes on a walk, sometimes sitting in a restaurant, or lying down on a couch.

In recent years, I’ve found other tools for apophatic contemplative prayer. Two apps for my phone have been resources. The first app is called Centering Prayer. You can find the link here. This resource grows out of the work of Father Thomas Keating, whose numerous books have brought centering prayer to thousands of people. The second resource I use comes from Plum Village, the monastery founded in France by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. You can find that app here. These tools have distinct flavors, but they share a simple, soft, and gentle approach to prayer and meditation.

Another somewhat unorthodox form of meditation I use is while bicycling. This form of meditation is similar to walking meditation, which is ideal for those who find sitting or lying down particularly challenging. There are many forms of walking meditation with roots in both the east and the West. My form of cycling meditation is adapted from these practices. Simply put, I pick a portion of a bike ride where I choose a theme or a word or phrase. Then, as I ride, I let that phrase tumble over my brain and sometimes say it out loud. For instance, “gratitude” or “beauty" are a couple of recent examples. I'll repeat those words and then see what I notice. I find the combination of exercise, maybe pushing hard on the peddles up a hill, combined with thoughts of gratitude, results in connection with aspects of life I've come to appreciate or need to appreciate.

But, I'd be remiss if I did not mention the bodily component of this type of prayer. It may be another form of physical movement for you, but cycling is something I love, and my body loves. A steep hill is a challenging climb. Yes, the muscles in my legs scream out in pain, but they are also praising the engagement. My quadriceps sing out hallelujah as I peddle up a long 6% grade. My lungs expanded as they converted oxygen into the fuel needed to keep moving. All the components of what make me me are alive and on fire. There is something life-giving in that process, something profoundly spiritual. I'm reminded of a central tenant of the Christian understanding of God- Namely, that the eternal sacred became temporal in the incarnation. God takes a bodily form. Let's not miss the richness of this. The holy wants a body. Engaging in physical activity, whether it be cycling, walking, swimming, surfing, hiking, rock climbing, as we embrace a contemplative practice, can be a gift.

Contemplative prayer roots us in mystical traditions. All the major religions of the world have expressions of mysticism. I think of the Jewish Kabbalah, Sufi's in the Islamic tradition, the Greek Orthodox monks of Christianity, and the eastern wisdom traditions of Buddhism and the Hindu faith. For years, mysticism and such contemplative prayer practices were dismissed in the West as eccentric or even heretical. But, that is all changing. Today, people crave an experience of the divine, not simply a doctrinal creed to intellectually comprehend. There is a hunger for experiential religion, and contemplative prayer in its kataphatic and apophatic forms are gifts for post-modern persons.