Everything Has Its Time, Lament is our Time

3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

We are in these times of weeping and mourning as the author of Ecclesiastes writes. So many have died of the Covid19 virus, and so many have died because of the color of their skin, most notably George Floyd. Who is not mourning and grieving the loss of someone or the many? Collectively as a nation, and as global citizens we are all living with loss.

Loss of loved ones, loss of what we once knew, loss of hope, loss of faith, loss of trust… The list goes on. Loss is everywhere.

And yet, it seems we have no place to go with our pain. Our churches, temples, mosques and synagogues are closed. We cannot gather except via Zoom for rite of mourning and remembrance. In a previous time their were elected officials who would lead us in rituals of lament and grief, be it Barrack Obama after Sandy Hook or Charleston, George W. Bush after 9-11 or Ronald Reagan after the Challenger explosion. But today, there is no national ritual to remember those we have lost.

That lack of grieving time and ritual is festering in our souls. It is making us agitated, irritable, depressed and yes, angry. When the human soul cannot find ways to articulate what it is experiencing it does not go away. It churns inside, seeking a way to find expression. Sooner or later it must find a way to be expressed. It will find a way to be expressed. This is why we have rituals of lament, funerals of remembrance and gatherings of loved ones.

Since we must find a way to be people who express our loss, and this is not happening on a large scale, we must find ways. Increasingly, I am seeing congregations holding rituals of lament and grief. This is good and needed. I encourage more and more. Perhaps even monthly it would be appropriate to gather people online for service of lament and grief. As the weather turns more favorable are there opportunities to gather outside in safe ways.

I am encouraging gatherings of lament. Read from the scriptures, invite testimonials, tell the stories of the ones you have lost. These can be the stories of people you knew personally or even persons more distant from you. We need a collective channeling of all the lament. The only way forward through these times is through the grief. We will not move forward until we face what we have lost, what divides us and then, only then will we begin to see our way.

Grieving and Comforting are expressions of Everyday Spirituality