Elections as Reflections

After months, though it seems like years, of pre-election activities, the 2020 Presidential campaign begins on Monday with the Iowa Caucus. The good news that a pre-caucus poll was canceled due to irregularities allows for something concrete to actually begin...real people going into rooms and casting real ballots.

On Wednesday, the likely acquittal of the President in his Impeachment means that after three years of..., how does one even come up with a single word to define this presidency? After three years it all comes down to real people casting real ballots.

Whoever the nominee of the democratic party will be is not known. That person and his or her running mate will force all of us into a choice. The choice will actually be quite clear. Yes, despite all of the distractions that will come our way in the next nine months the choice will come down one question. What kind of a country do we want to live in?

While policies and personnel matter, I've come to the conclusion that our desires for the future will be determined in how we vote next November. Do we want a country that values a patriotic understanding of democracy, where all are indeed created equal? or Do we prefer a country that values power and profit, where those of means are more equal? In reality, Americans have long had a secret undisclosed conflict between those two questions. On the one hand, we have valued democracy but secretly longed for power and profit as long as our side won. We wanted it both ways and our way.

But now in the era of Trump, the secret is out from under the shadows. Trump has brought to light the internal conflict, namely that we want what we want. A kind of selfishness that centers on both our greed and our insecurities. We always knew it was there lurking in the shadows, now it's just out in the open.

At a recent lecture on "Crucial Conversations", the speaker posed the question "How did you get what you want as a child?" The group's answers revealed much we already know about human beings and the institutions we lead.

- Temper tantrums

- Manipulative Silence

- Conniving strategy

- Stubbornness

- Schmoozing

While US American Politics has always exhibited various iterations of these behaviors, never before have we witnessed such an open and brazen display.

A President is many things, but what is rarely talked about in the course of a campaign is the role of President as a model citizen, as the setter of tone, as the embodiment of a future hope. The question is always one of which comes first: Does the president set the tone or reflect the tone? In other words, are we in this or any election, making a choice that best reflects who we are as a people or who we hope to become as a people.

We will learn the answer to that question in November.

I have made a few decisions as to how I will approach the coming nine months. What follows are some convictions that I hope to return to, as navigators to help find a way through the coming display of those childish behaviors.

1. I plan to write what I think and believe as opposed to reposting or sharing what others say/write/think. This will force me to slow down and consider what I believe, digest information and articulate my own convictions.

2. I plan to regularly ask the question "What is best for my grandchildren's children?" This concretizes and forces longer-term thinking about our world.

3. I plan to respond to people with a reflection on the Anais Nin quote I have come to value, "People don't see things as they are, they see things as we are." This, I hope, will force me to remember that we all speak out of our deepest needs, hurts, desires. It may make me more attentive.

4. Finally, an old wise analyst once said to me, "Most people are doing the best they can with who they are and what brought them to this point."

I'll attempt, as best I can, to articulate what I think and believe. Why do this? Mostly to help me navigate these times we are in, seek some semblance of mental and emotional stability and exercise a practice of hope.

Stretch, Flex and Push

I've increasingly come to the conclusion that the real reason God has called me to this work as Bishop is to stretch people, increase flexibility and push the norms. To that end, I recruited 8 people from our new Synod Worship, Preaching & Spiritual Life team to travel with me to the Calvin University Worship Symposium this week. Yes, Lutherans at a Pan-Christian event sponsored by Calvinists. (I may soon be deposed, defrocked & dethroned for such heresy). 

We had a few days of soaking in a whole range of perspectives that challenged us, irritated us, inspired us and, for me renewed my hope going forward. This event was far more diverse in age, race and denominational representation than most similar events. Ironically, I heard more Luther and Bonhoeffer quotes from Baptist preachers than typical. I learned from Honduran Baptists, Brazilian Lutherans, African American Church of God.

I sang my heart out and clapped my hands to the pounding drums of Urban Gospel Hip Hop, laughed with colleagues, deconstructed and reconstructed ideas around worship and preaching.

There is no simple conclusion other than the church is better, richer and healthier when we are standing in the varied streams of our multiple expressions.

Looking Back. Looking Forward

This is a more personal reflection blog post, rather than social commentary.

2019 - Among the most significant events of this past year, a year I turned 60, has been. the realization that I’m finally comfortable with my vocational calling in life. Like Jacob wrestling with the angelic being in Genesis or Jeremiah resisting the call of Yahweh, I’ve consistently fought this call as a Pastor. After nearly 34 years, I finally got over it. Something shifted. I’m not sure what it was, but I settled into my own skin and realized that this is what I meant to do and be.

Much of that shift. has centered around a realization that I can and have done this work in my own way. For years I wondered what people thought, or whether or not my ideas would be accepted in the more narrow confines of a doctrinal oriented faith. Now, I have little concern for the opinion of others, as well as a desire to express a freer understanding of faith.

2020 - This newfound narrative of freedom sets me up for projects and undertakings that further a more adventurous faith and life. The adventures I anticipate for the coming year a more internal as opposed to external travels. Among these, I highlight:

• A new book, tentatively titled Life is Not Fair: The Book of Job for our Time. This project will explore the ancient narrative of why life doesn’t go as planned. It will include a similar approach from my last book, where I invite people to contribute their own stories. More info to come later in January.

• A return to photography as a means of creative expression. It’s been years since I ended my professional career, and I’ve missed it. Not the business, but photography as art. So I hope to bring a camera along on my day to day travels. I’ll keep you posted.

• A time to study the intersection of Depth Psychology, Anthropology, and Christian Spirituality. This is really a project for the second half of 2020, but I’m already carving out attention for this endeavor. A really helpful book has been Backpacking with the Saints by Belden Lane.

As you look back and look forward, I hope you find what you are looking for as well as the One who is looking for You. What are you considering?

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Last Friday evening on the Winter Solstice, I joined two friends for a small concert at the local Library. Chris and Mike were the musicians and I was the narrator, invited to bring some readings and images to sprinkle between their fine songs. Among my selections was this poem by Kentucky farmer, essayist, and poet Wendell Berry. It seems right for these times.
 

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

I’ll be back in the New Year with more blog posts, podcasts and news about my next writing project.

What's Christmas all about?

Did you see this fine article by Bishop N.T. Wright. It’s out now in Time magazine? You can read it here or below.

The New Testament Doesn’t Say What Most People Think It Does About Heaven 

BY N.T. WRIGHT 

DECEMBER 16, 2019

N. T. Wright is the Professor of New Testament and Early Christianity at the University of St Andrews, a Senior Research Fellow at Wycliffe Hall, Oxford University and the author of over 80 books, including The New Testament in Its World.

One of the central stories of the Bible, many people believe, is that there is a heaven and an earth and that human souls have been exiled from heaven and are serving out time here on earth until they can return. Indeed, for most modern Christians, the idea of “going to heaven when you die” is not simply one belief among others, but the one that seems to give a point to it all.

But the people who believed in that kind of “heaven” when the New Testament was written were not the early Christians. They were the “Middle Platonists” — people like Plutarch (a younger contemporary of St Paul who was a philosopher, biographer, essayist and pagan priest in Delphi). To understand what the first followers of Jesus believed about what happens after death, we need to read the New Testament in its own world — the world of Jewish hope, of Roman imperialism and of Greek thought.

The followers of the Jesus-movement that grew up in that complex environment saw “heaven” and “earth” — God’s space and ours, if you like — as the twin halves of God’s good creation. Rather than rescuing people from the latter in order to reach the former, the creator God would finally bring heaven and earth together in a great act of new creation, completing the original creative purpose by healing the entire cosmos of its ancient ills. They believed that God would then raise his people from the dead, to share in — and, indeed, to share his stewardship over — this rescued and renewed creation. And they believed all this because of Jesus.

They believed that with the resurrection of Jesus this new creation had already been launched. Jesus embodied in himself the perfect fusion of “heaven” and “earth.” In Jesus, therefore, the ancient Jewish hope had come true at last. The point was not for us to “go to heaven,” but for the life of heaven to arrive on earth. Jesus taught his followers to pray: “Thy kingdom come on earth as in heaven.” From as early as the third century, some Christian teachers tried to blend this with types of the Platonic belief, generating the idea of “leaving earth and going to heaven,” which became mainstream by the Middle Ages. But Jesus’ first followers never went that route.

Israel’s scriptures had long promised that God would come back in person to dwell with his people for ever. The early Christians picked this up: “The Word became flesh,” declares John [1:14], “and dwelt in our midst.” The word for “dwelt” means, literally, “tabernacled,” “pitched his tent” — alluding to the wilderness “tabernacle” in the time of Moses and the Temple built by Solomon. Studying the New Testament historically, in its own world (as opposed to squashing and chopping it to fit with our own expectations), shows that the first Christians believed not that they would “go to heaven when they died,” but that, in Jesus, God had come to live with them.

That was the lens through which they saw the hope of the world. The book of Revelation ends, not with souls going up to heaven, but with the New Jerusalem coming down to earth, so that “the dwelling of God is with humans.” The whole creation, declares St. Paul, will be set free from its slavery to corruption, to enjoy God’s intended freedom. God will then be “all in all.” It’s hard for us moderns to grasp this: so many hymns, prayers and sermons still speak of us “going to heaven.” But it makes historical sense, and sheds light on everything else.

What then was the personal hope for Jesus’ followers? Ultimately, resurrection — a new and immortal physical body in God’s new creation. But, after death and before that final reality, a period of blissful rest. “Today,” says Jesus to the brigand alongside him, “you will be with me in Paradise.” “My desire,” says St. Paul, facing possible execution, “is to depart and be with the Messiah, which is far better.” “In my father’s house,” Jesus assured his followers, “are many waiting-rooms.” These are not the final destination. They are the temporary resting-place, ahead of the ultimate new creation. 

Historical study — reading the New Testament in its own world — thus brings surprises that can have an impact on modern Christianity, too. Perhaps the most important is a new, or rather very old, way of seeing the Christian mission. If the only point is to save souls from the wreck of the world, so they can leave and go to heaven, why bother to make this world a better place? But if God is going to do for the whole creation what he did for Jesus in his resurrection — to bring them back, here on earth — then those who have been rescued by the gospel are called to play a part, right now, in the advance renewal of the world.

God will put the whole world right, this worldview says, and in “justification” he puts people right, by the gospel, to be part of his putting-right project for the world. Christian mission includes bringing real advance signs of new creation into the present world: in healing, in justice, in beauty, in celebrating the new creation and lamenting the continuing pain of the old.

The scriptures always promised that when the life of heaven came to earth through the work of Israel’s Messiah, the weak and the vulnerable would receive special care and protection, and the desert would blossom like the rose. Care for the poor and the planet then becomes central, not peripheral, for those who intend to live in faith and hope, by the Spirit, between the resurrection of Jesus and the coming renewal of all things.

Snow Angels delivering Gifts for Christmas

Readers of this blog will know that I am attempting to capture a “Yes, I am Spiritual and Religious” sentiment. I believe it’s possible to be both. In that spirit, (pun intended) I thought I’d offer up some suggestions for you. What follows are the voices of those who influence me. Whose work I find refreshing. Who seem to be yearning for something the embraces the everydayness of a rich and full life.

The Music of Over the Rhine. Quite honestly, no one captures the pain and delight of this time of year. You can learn more and listen to their music on their website here. And, if you are inspired, they’ve got a collection of their Christmas music on sale. You’ll find that here.

Emily Carson new book Holy Everything. It’s as if Emily and I were walking down the same street, and passed each other coming in and out of our favorite coffee shop. This book shares so many similarities to my own, yet her voice is distinctive from mine. I love the way she genuinely wants people to enter into the spiritual and religious world, largely through her Midwest environment. It’s a read!

The Blue Zones Kitchen. If you don’t think food is an expression of the holy, well, you must not be paying attention. Dan Buettner has just released this new book of recipes from around the world. The Blue Zones are the places where people live the longest. I’ve enjoyed recipes via the E-News, but now I’m looking forward to this collection in a cookbook.

Cyber Week Special on Books & Cards

24 hours left 

Just a quick reminder

The half-off sale on Everyday Spirituality Books and Conversation cards expire on Friday, December 6.

Amazon has the book list at $9.97 for Print, $4.99 for Kindle and $8.97 for the Audio Book. You can purchase individual copies by clicking here.

Our special Five Pack Bundle is good through tomorrow as well. 5 Books, with 5 Conversation Cards plus an Audiobook for $50 plus shipping. These bundles have been more popular than we thought, so we ordered more books. You can order the Bundle pack through our Office. Just email Martha at mwhyte@nesynod.org

Embracing Thanksgiving

On our kitchen table, I've set out a small stack of note cards. They are all blank and calling to me to fill them with words of appreciation for people I know. This year I'm mindful of those people who make our lives easier and smoother.

So I'm writing short notes to the guy who picks up our trash each week, the woman at the seafood counter and postal clerk I see once a week. Yes, I know, they get paid. for their work, but are they appreciated?

Maybe I'm writing to them so I can remind myself that an attitude of appreciation and thanksgiving shapes my mind and soul.

Whatever the reason, this week is as good as any to offer thanksgiving.

Money

I just released episode 47 of the podcast, which is chapter seven from my book. This chapter was my attempt to explore money as an expression of everyday spirituality.

I’ve spent a bit of time and energy thinking, researching and exploring the topic of money for the past seven years. Initially this grew out of my interest in stewardship and generosity. The book Ask, Thank, tell by Charles Lane was instrumental in that time period and continues to be the single best resource. I just interviewed him in Episode 46.

But my interest began to evolve as I learned about a new generation of people grappling with money. The Minimalists, Mr. Money Mustache and other Gen-X and millennials began looking at money from a less acquisitive position. The controversial Dave Ramsey also played a role in this period. But, I kept circling back to the work of Richard Foster and Mark Allen Powell as people who wrote and thought about money from a perspective of the great religious traditions.

I’ve come to a rather simple formula when it comes to money. (Simple to write about, hard to live into)

• Live below your income (spend less than you earn)

• Give generously (10.3% is my current level)

• Save like a pack rat (a goal of 15% is necessary for retirement these days)

In reality, the first bullet point is the key to it all. I’m not one to focus on worrying about my Starbucks spending. I’ve learned it’s better to four on the Big expenses. Debt, Cars & Housing. I’ve found keeping those three as low as possible has the most impact.

Fortunately, through an 18 month self imposed austerity program, we eliminated all of our debt (except the mortgage which is next) I’m now driving a car that I own free and clear, and hope to keep til the end of my heavy driving demand job. This leaves our mortgage as our only major expense.

That 18 month austerity plan meant no extra spending on everything (including Starbucks). It also meant selling a bunch of crap in Yard Sales, on Amazon and elsewhere. But when we got to the end and everything was paid off - student loans, credit cards, autos, etc. WOW! What a relief.

There is a ton written on the area of finance, and some of it is good, some of it is noise. But, the key in my mind is resisting the power of the US consumer socio-economic myth. Fighting the monster called more. That is the heart of it all. And yes, that’s very much a spiritual engagement, that is probably connected with battling the principalities and powers of our time.

Oh, and if I’ve suggest here that I’ve mastered it, conquered it and now achieved some state of nirvana. Sorry, didn’t intend to suggest that at all. I’ve made progress, but just now an email arrived seducing me with a new flashy product that is soooooo tempting.

The battle, the journey the march continues.

The Spirituality of Organizing, Pragmatism and Justice.

There is a Spirituality of Pragmatic Organizing.

I can already hear the objections in your head. 

 “You’ve got to be kidding.  How in the world can pragmatism and organizing be connected with the spiritual?”

I accept your challenge, Sir Gallahad. But, let's get some definitions on the page first. Spirituality for me is not some woo-woo idea limited to sunsets, and uncomfortable cross-legged poses and encounter retreat weekends with gurus and chocolate. (What's the deal with chocolate?  I don't know, but I seem to be craving more of it in this post-Halloween season)  

Spirituality is all about a connection with the holy, the sacred, the numinous, the eternal…ok, let's go with God. But why do we reserve this for 'special' moments? As I've argued again and again on this blog, and in my book, spiritual happens in the everyday, ordinary, messy, confusing, painful, and delightful moments of life.

Pragmatism is the implementation of an idea. Yes, the move from concept to reality is pragmatism. When people ask me about leadership, I've come to use the definition I heard several years ago: Getting from here to there. More than two-thirds of US Americans describe themselves as pragmatic, as opposed to flexible or conserving. It’s in the makeup of our culture. The author and psychologist James Hollis describes a time when he was meeting with a Swiss analyst in Zurich. Hollis thought she was making fun of him, but then realized it was a compliment when she said, "You Americans, leave your jobs, sell your homes and come over here to study. Just like that. We Swiss would think of the idea for ten years, and then probably not do it. That tendency to take matters into your own hands is what makes you so admirable." What one person might call impulsive, this person describes an action. 

I’ll confess to being a card-carrying task-oriented pragmatist.  

Oh sure, I've got ideas, dreams, and whims that circulate constantly, but if I don't take one or two of them and make a move to a concrete reality, I'll begin to go crazy. Years ago, I confessed this to a mentor who told me, "You're an incarnationalist.” This was before seminary training, so I had to look it up. It turns out. It's not a word. But the idea is one who takes concepts and brings them to life.

Those of us in the Jesus tradition know of the incarnation as the theological concept of the eternal brought to life in the temporal. The Christmas narrative of the Holy Logos of the Divine birthed into the here and now. Jesus is the incarnation of God. And don't you love that this all happened in a manger with barn animals, hay and well, just a bunch of poop on the floor, no doubt? 

I'm kinds of winding my way toward the main point. Pragmatic organizing is spiritual. It’s the act of making something real. That’s a sort of creation. No, wait, it is creation. You are creating something when you bring something into being.

• The idea for a meal into a prepared supper with friends

• Hopes for a child into a healthy baby

• Dreams of a meaningful career into a job that sings for you

• Thoughts about improving the neighborhood to replacing slum landlords

Which brings me to the event that inspired this article.

Last week I was in Hartford, Connecticut, for the launching of the Greater Hartford Interfaith Action Alliance (GHIAA). I concept three years ago became a reality as 1500 persons from every possible faith tradition gathered to form GHIAA. The goals are clear and concrete:

• Education

• Sensible Gun Laws

• Housing

• Welfare Liens

• Anti-Racism Work

You can read more about it here. You can see media coverage here and here.

This effort took three years, thousands of one to one meetings, multiple pieces of training, and a bunch of pragmatic idealists. Several of our Pastors were involved in this project for many years. Pastor Douglas Barclay, chief among them, spoke at the event regarding the toll of gun violence. His speech was succinct and powerful. He outlined GHIAA's commitment to passing a law to prevent future senseless deaths. But, other pragmatic idealists were there as well, including Kristian Kohler, Priscilla Melendez, Daryl Urban, Chris Dion, Carol Stoneman. There were others too. These church leaders worked with rabbis, Imams, Priests to incarnate an idea that God's people can organize to impact social injustices directly.

When I saw this, I thought, "here is something! This is really something. Finally, the church is doing, acting, incarnating."  It's significant because most of the time, the church is good at talking or writing. But, talking about problems or even conversing about solutions is often just that…conversation. But, here, after three years of conversations, interviews, and hopes was the incarnation of the idea of justice.

The results have already shown themselves as three slum landlords have been forced to give up their property, and new owners are already making repairs and improving the living quarters for mothers, fathers, children, and babies. The Hartford City Council voted to address this crisis going forward

So, what do you think? Is pragmatic organizing an expression of the holy?  I think so.

People Want to Tell Their Stories

The folks over at Faith+Lead ran this article of mine last week.

People want to hear stories, and they want to tell their own stories.

That’s pretty well understood. North Americans spend millions of dollars per year on stories as recorded in books, displayed on Netflix, or presented in live performances. But what about spiritual stories? Are we really ready to tell and hear those stories?

Much to my surprise, I discovered the answer was a resounding yes. In preparation for writing a book on modern spirituality, I put out a call for people’s stories of encounters with the divine and holy moments. I was hoping for five or ten. Instead, I received over 200 responses. These stories varied from little vignettes to profound descriptions of vulnerable moments in their lives.

The spiritual stories I received included moments in the natural world, such as this one, when a grandfather brought a young boy to a cornfield before dawn just to lie there: “‘Shh, just listen,’ [he said]. I lay there on my back in my grandfather’s cornfield in Iowa. Eventually, I heard something. It was the sound of the corn growing. God’s creation was alive and coming alive at that moment, and I realized a sacred presence in it all.”

Other stories were more mundane: walking, hosting a meal, singing, even wearing a rock concert T-shirt. The range of responses was surprising and heartwarming. While I couldn’t use all 200 submissions, I was able to gather enough to write 27 separate chapters. Each one reflects on a common theme, such as breathing, cooking, or tasting, as well as those moments in life that are more challenging, such as grieving, disagreeing, or losing.

Non-church-attending folks often say that they’re “spiritual but not religious”–but perhaps an equally vexing problem is its opposite, as described by an early reader of the book: “It’s for those who are religious but not spiritual.” 

Everyday spirituality can help the active or semi-active person of faith rediscover a spirituality they may have lost in all the potlucks, committee meetings, and property concerns. My efforts are to help people realize that God is present in all of life, not just the Sunday morning gathering around the altar and baptismal font. Can we recover a sense of the holy in our careers, our hobbies, our time with friends and family? This might require shifting how we have typically discussed spirituality in the church over the past several generations, but it’s also a return to an earlier way the church taught such practices.

More recently, our pattern has been to design curricula around spiritual practices such as devotional reading, meditation, and prayer or Bible study. Don’t get me wrong, this is valuable, but in reality, only about 10 percent of people engage in these activities. I’m looking for spirituality for the other 90 percent–those of us who believe God is alive in our bicycling, our gardening, and our spending time with friends, but who might not have experience reflecting on or talking about it. 

Perhaps my greatest joy is discovering how eager people are to share their stories once you introduce this topic. To that end, I’ve developed a series of questions or conversation starters that people can answer in small groups or as part their personal reflection, such as:

• Describe a time when you were surprised…by love, children, God (pick one).

• There have been too many times in my life when…

• What’s something in life that doesn’t make sense?

These aren’t questions that are particularly spiritual in an overt sense. Or are they? The intent is to prompt people to tell a story about their lives, to help them realize that they are indeed more spiritual in their everyday lives than they realized.
Along with the book, I created a card game that can be used to spark such conversations. I call it Everyday Spirituality. It’s a hashtag (#everydayspirituality), a book, a card game, but mostly it’s a way of life–an opportunity for all of us to share and listen to sacred stories

The Cards Have Arrived

It's a Blustery Day here in Rhode Island, and a chance to update you on some resources for the Everyday Spirituality Book.

• The Resource Guide which contains a Study Guide and ideas for Worship plus a Stewardship Appeal can be found here at this link. Click here I understand some of you may not have received this info, so I'm providing it here. I'm working to fix the auto registration. My apologies. Also, I'll be updating this Resource Guide later this fall, and I'll let you know when it's updated.

• The Conversation Cards have finally arrived. The slow boat from China, yes actually true, docked in LA and then the cards made the long drive cross country. If you want a set email my Assistant Martha at mwhyte@nesynod.org and she will let you know about costs. I include a guide for how to use the cards personally, in a small group or even in a larger group of 500 people. They are fun and creative conversation prompts for Everyday Spirituality storytelling.

• The AudioBook is being released. Well, it's actually already available everywhere. Audiobooks.com, Apple Books, Google Play etc. Amazon says it will be available in the next three days as an Audible download. More and more people are "reading" books via Audio, so I decided to record the book.

• Book Tour: I'll be in Vernon Connecticut this Sunday at Trinity Lutheranat 3:00 p.m. then at the Serendipity Cafe, in Maynard, MA on Saturday, October 26 at 6:00 p.m.

More info always at www.everydayspiritualitybook.com

Guest Post - Everyday Spirituality Story of Eric Mull

Rev. Eric D. Mull, Redeemer Lutheran Church in Bangor, Maine.  

There is one word that defines my life and that is grace. The grace of acceptance. The grace that defies shame. 

I grew up in rural western Pennsylvania. I respected my dad. My dad was a good man, he was a good provider for our family. He put five children through college. He played baseball with his sons. He built us a three-story split-level tree house. He built a damn in the creek so that we could go swimming. He is no longer with us, and I do miss him. 

But my father’s voice was not the voice of love it was the voice of rejection, the voice of shame, the voice of condemnation and fear. My father was a tortured soul. He just didn’t have the capacity to love me and I realized later he just could not accept his gay son. He loved my brother Roger, but he could not embrace me as his own. He would go out of his way to remind me that I was not acceptable, that Roger was his favorite son. His belittling words throughout my childhood literally shriveled up my soul. I approached the world plagued by self-doubt and fear. I belonged nowhere. The voice of condemnation and fear controlled my life for years. 

I was baptized and confirmed Lutheran (ALC) but joined a conservative evangelical church in my late teens. I am a recovering evangelical. Turns out I was exchanging a punitive father for a punitive God. I served as Pastor of an evangelical church for six years while hiding deep in the closet.  I left the church, because I repeatedly heard voices of shame, “you’re a screw up,” “you’re not enough,” and “you’re an abomination.”  I left the ministry in good standing, but in a desperate state of bewilderment. I had nothing to offer the people. I felt God would never accept me as I am, so how could I preach the gospel if I didn’t believe it myself.  

It wasn’t until my mid-thirties that I heard what Henri Nouwen calls the inner voice of love that would eventually drown out the voice of fear. I was in my room severely depressed one night. I cried out to God to take my life. I reached for my Bible and it opened to Romans 8:1. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”In a split second my heart shifted from total despair to jubilant joy. God did not condemn me. God loved me as I am; a gay, broken, inadequate man. I literally felt my shriveled spirit expand with confidence and assurance. Paul Tillich called this grace “the courage to be in spite of being unacceptable.”  For me that meant the courage to be in spite of being gay.

I decided I wanted to go back to church, but I wasn’t sure where to go. I could not go back to a church that forced me back into the closet, so I went back to the church of my baptism, a small Lutheran Church in Brooklyn. The preaching was bad, the music was worse, but I found peace at the Table. For months I received the body and blood with tears; tears of joy mixed with fear and trembling. Christ’s love was present there. He whispered, “forgive as I have forgiven you.”

Forgive! How could I forgive the man who nearly destroyed my life? I had not spoken to him in years. I hated him and he continued to verbally abuse me into my adulthood. I begin to pray for him. For nearly a year I prayed, “Daddy I forgive you. Jesus help me to forgive.” God opened the door to face what seemed to be impossible. My mother had a stroke and I flew to Chicago to see her. My dad was his angry belligerent self. That evening I knew we had to talk. What started as a fight ended up as a reconciliation. I don’t think forgiveness necessarily requires reconciliation. Some abuses are just too great to reconcile. God granted be both forgiveness and reconciliation. 

My dad and I talked for three hours. This was more than we talked my entire life. He heard my pain and I listened to his. He apologized for his cruelty and said “I learned as a child that I had to hurt the other guy before they hurt me. I’m sorry I did that to you.” He moaned in a desperate tone, “how can I ever be forgiven.” I said, “God forgives you and I forgive you too. Please dad stop verbally abusing me. He did. 

A week later my mother had another massive stroke that put her in a comma. One evening we visited her in the intensive care unit. My dad began to weep over my mom. I was shocked, I never saw him cry before. He emotionally abused her as well. He started confessing his cruelties to her in detail. For the first time I felt massive love for him. I hugged him and said, “daddy I love you.” He said, “I love you too son.” He then gave me a litany of blessings. Every child needs to hear blessings from their father. I heard nothing but critical words my whole life from him. That night it all changed. I literally felt a giant weight roll off my back. My dad and I had a tender relationship for two years before he died. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” 

This was pure grace. We forgive out of the abundance of God’s mercy. We love because he first loved us. I don’t think I could ever have forgiven my dad, accept that God tenderly embraced me. Lewis Smedes said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” I was that prisoner and now I am free. 

In 2009 when the ELCA opened their doors to ordain gay Pastors, I left the field of Mental Health and went to Seminary. I am the newly installed Pastor of Redeemer Lutheran Church in Bangor Maine. I take Henri Nouwen’s title for a minister; I am a wounded healer. I have a mystic’s heart and love to companion those who live on the margins; the poor and the poor in spirit. One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” Amen 

On Writing

While he is writing about song writing, I found this little piece to have broad application to writing in general.

“There is a strange truth that accompanies writing: if you do it for recognition, you are likely signing yourself up for a life of misery. Whatever recognition you receive will never feel like enough. And yet every writer appreciates any real engagement with the work, for it can be a lonely profession at times, and there are days we wonder if any of it matters. We always hope that others writing about the music (or a project) will help the music find its way into new places. We always hope the songs can go and make good lives for themselves.

On a good day, writing feels like a spiritual practice, or a way of life. Its one of the rare vocations, that comes with the opportunity to get better at something over the course of an entire lifetime. And what better way to get a writer out of bed in the morning: our best work may still be out there waiting for us.”

Lindford Detweiler (of the Americana Folk Group Over the Rhine)

The Audiobook is Now Available

The Audiobook of Everyday Spirituality is now available. Amazon is running a little slow, but should be out on Audible soon. It’s available elsewhere now, click the link/logo of your preferred Audiobook format below.

What’s going on with Religion in America?

Is it the turning from summer to fall that brings out these stories? Many an autumn begins with cooler temperatures, kids heading back to school, and articles about the changing landscape of Religion in America. That's an odd combination, but so it goes.

First, there was Dwight Zschiele’s provocatively titled “Will the ELCA be Gone in 30 years?” This article appeared on the Luther Seminary Faith Lead Blog.  Based on findings that were released by the denomination's Research and Evaluation Office, the report describes the factors that have contributed to a 30-year decline and the likelihood of continued decline. I interviewed Zschiele for my podcast show as a way to dive deeper into his recommended solutions.  You can find that interview here.

Then on Tuesday, I attended the opening lecture of the University of Rhode Island’s Colloquia.  This year’s series looks remarkable, and you can watch many of them online. Fortunately, URI is but 15 minutes from my home, so I was able to attend Alan Cooperman’s presentation.  Dr. Cooperman is a research fellow at the Pew Research Center. His plethora of slides and charts confirmed the narrative most readers of this blog are already familiar. Namely, religion is in decline in America, but not around the world.  A few stats for you:

• Christians were 78% of the US population in 2007, today they make up 65%

• Nones* were 16% of the US in 2007, today they make up 26%

• *Nones are persons who select “No Preference” when surveyed in the P{ew Research. What’s striking is that 61% of all Nones say they believe in God. They are Spiritual but not Religious, after all.

• Younger generations are less likely to identify. The long term trend is toward a less religiously active US American society.

Why is this decline happening?

There are several theories. The online journal Five-Thirty-Eight recently ran an article describing one approach, which is the so-called political theory of religious decline. In brief, it states that as conservative or fundamentalist religion is helping to drive younger and or more liberal thinkers away from religion. There is some evidence already. If a person is not connected to a faith community, and the only information you get is from television or social media, you might conclude religion equates with conservative politics. The 538 article describes this theory quite well. 

But there are other theories as well. One is the Affluence theory, which states that as a society becomes more affluent, it becomes less religious.  There is a good deal of evidence to corroborate this theory around the globe; however, two exceptions. One is China which is both not economically affluent (despite public perceptions) and not religious.  The other is the United States which is prosperous and religious (despite recent declines we are still much more religious than other countries).

Other theories center on increasing loneliness (the Bowling Alone theory, which notes the decline in organized bowling leagues). The marriage theory (which states that there is more intermarriage today and thus less participation in one of the faith traditions.)

In my interview with Dwight Zscheile, he sites the work of the Canadian Social theorist Charles Taylor who describes a shift in how North Americans find meaning. The chart (see below) in the article on the 30-year decline of the ELCA reveals that the top three places where people find purpose in life and Family (by far the highest) career followed by money.  Faith or Spirituality show up as number four.  That's a dramatic shift from earlier in the mid and late twentieth century where many people found meaning in the organizations they belonged.  Church, the Grange Hall, and the Bowling league were community-building connections. Now, not as much, and certainly not so much the younger the generation. 

As my wife and other pastors have noted, increasingly younger generations are coming to worship and then leaving.  They don't stay for social time or a BBQ.  They have their social connections elsewhere.  They are coming, if they are coming, for a specific reason, namely spiritual growth and nourishment in worship. 

The Zscheile interview and article discuss the proverbial what can we do about it? But, I want to close with one other finding from Pew. The impact on the broader cultural and civic well being of a less religious society.

 According to Pew, less religiously engaged persons also participate in less vigorously in civic life. They volunteer less, they are less generous, and they are less civically involved, including lower frequencies of voting. Even if your Uncle Harry is of the mindset that a less religious society is fine so we get rid of all that superstition.   They should be concerned if for no other reason that less religion means less participation in democracy.  And that should concern all of us, from the atheist to the agnostic to the faithful churchgoer.

What I'm Reading now

It's not exactly a book for earnest seekers of everyday spirituality, but I've always been attracted to that "off the beaten path" approach. This summer I picked up Barney Hoskyns, Small Town Talk. It’s the story of Woodstock, not the festival that captured the imagination of a generation, but the town and all the characters that came here beginning with Bob Dylan in 1964.

Hoskyns is a fine writer and he weaves the narrative of this Catskills town from its famous residents, now long gone, to those less well known carpenters and mechanics who currently occupy the town.

There was a music festival that was supposed to be held in this town in 1969, but a variety of factors forced its relocation 60 miles away to Yasgur’s Farm. That event put Woodstock, NY on the map, and every year tourists come to the town looking for the site of the festival. What they find is a small town of about 5,000 people, some of whom moved here after that festival and now their children run shops, inns and repair cars. There is an arts scene today, but forty years ago it was Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, The Band and Van Morrison along with others who played music, and ate in local cafes.

In my book Everyday Spirituality, I wrote a chapter about music. There I reflected on the third sacrament as a gift of the sacred. Hoskyns paints a portrait that is quite down to earth. One might wonder how spiritual music really is as you read this book. But, I would suggest, that it is in the blood and guts, the loves lost and gained, the fear and redemption of these musicians lives that we find a certain holiness.

I was born a little late for this sixties adventure. So reading of this time period is more history than biography for me. If I want something from a period I lived through, I’ll have to pick up Hoskyns Hotel California, which chronicles the early 1970’s and the West Coast version of Woodstock. But, that’s a read for another day.

Duke University's Faith & Leadership

Thanks to the folks and Faith & Leadership, where Alban Institute merged, for this article and interview on Everyday Spirituality.

Click here

Barnes & Noble has Picked Up the Book

You can now Pre-Order the Book at Barnes & Noble

Everyday Spirituality Book Arrived

My author proof copy arrived in the mail. Woohoo! Release date is two weeks from today on August 27th. The proves I’m an author. That’s what the proof copy is for, right?