My Letter following the Election of 2016

Yesterday, we all awoke to a new reality in our country – indeed in our world.  The election that has consumed so much energy and time, and in a manner that was not at all reflective of our better selves, came to a conclusion.  I know from many conversations that we have people in our synod, in our congregations and communities who are dismayed and afraid, we also have others who view the results positively.

In the words of my colleague, Bishop Alan Gates: “Our national election is behind us, leaving in its wake a legacy of bitterness and hostility.  For some, alienation is the apparent reason for the election’s outcome; for others alienation is its result.  In either case, we face grievous division and manifest anxiety.”

In light of these election results, I believe it is incumbent upon us all to view ourselves as agents of healing.  We have wounds all across the spectrum, and I believe we need to address those wounds.  I will be candid and say that I have more questions than answers. 

How do we move forward?  What do we do with all the language of vitriol, hatred, threats, lies, accusations, racial & sexual discrimination that have been hurled around?  How do we address the economic anxiety that is very much a part of our country?  What is the role of the church in these times?  What is an appropriate prophetic voice for today?  Where is God in our emotional and intellectual response? And others…

I offer some wisdom from a family member who works in the field of election campaigns going back to 1980.  He writes: “Victory is never as revolutionary ‎as one imagines. Defeat is never the Armageddon we fear.  I’ve been there [on both sides over the years.]  We have a constitutional system that will continue. … ‎Yes there is a world of unknowns come January. But the policies that effect our lives will evolve with the traditional frustrating slowness of the legislative process.” 

Finally, I offer this prayer as a tool for each of us to take an inventory of our own place in this time of evaluation and healing.

 “God, our refuge and strength, you have bound us together in a common life.  In all our conflict, help us to confront one another without hatred or bitterness, to listen for your voice amid competing claims, and to work together with mutual forbearance and respect; through Jesus Christ our Lord.”  -Evangelical Lutheran Worship, Pastoral Care book, p. 386  

Sincerely in Christ

 

Bishop James Hazelwood

Recovering the Art of Dialogue

Some recent quotes I've heard or read:

- Donald Trump has let pain in the room of US American politics.

- Martin Luther probably wouldn't have distributed the 95 theses, if he had to do it over again.

- I used to believe in programs, now I only believe in people.

- Why can't we believe in both individual responsibility & collective responsibility.

- I don't know what God is anymore, but I do know when I see Life.

- Politics is dead, we now need some new way of talking across our differences. 

These are a variety of statements that have stood out to me in my reading and conversations over this election year.  They come from people who are well known to the world as well as people who don't even have an online profile.  They have stuck with me.  I really don't know what they have to do with one another, but that's something I want to think about - out loud, here.  

So I am hoping over the next few months to use this space as a place for conversation on the subject of recovering the art of dialogue. Mynapproach will be to look at seemingly complex issues in our world today, and engage a both/and conversation, as opposed to an either/or debate.  This doesn't mean I plan to be neutral, but I do want to engage a broader view.

Why do this?  Mostly, it's selfish.  I've found myself locked into the same polarity that has gripped our country.  Of late, I'm realizing that this systemic shift in our national dialogue is actually leaving out space for solutions.  In short, we'd rather be justified in our positions, than find a solution.  

So this little experiment is really an opportunity to engage in topics no one wants to tyalk about, because they are so volatile.  I want to dive into those topics.  We will see where it goes, and if it goes.

 

 

The Election and Democracy and the Christian Voice

Vote.  Enourage others to Vote.

 

I had in mind a long reflective article on this subject.  Basically, my bottom line came down to the above, so I'll save your eyeball time.  November 8 is election day.  Not only for President, but other elected positions.  Those local ballot initiatives are important as well.  I'm not gonna tell you how to vote, you go figure that out for yourself.  All I'm doing here is telling you that you gotta vote, it's just part of the deal of being a citizen.

 

Dying Church Communication Practices... and some new life

Thom Rainer assembles some great resources for churches.  You should follow him.  yes, I know he is Southern Baptist, but the guy knows congregational life

Here are his thoughts on what's dying, at the Bottom, I talk about what's Living

Technological advancements and cultural changes have ushered in new practices in church communications. As a result, these seven practices are not only being replaced, they are dying.

  1. Clip Art. Thanks to the rise of easy-to-use and affordable graphic design, many churches have all but done away with clip art. What was once a staple of church bulletins has been replaced in many instances by designs that look professional and stylish.
  2. Bad Fonts. We all know the names—Papyrus, Comic Sans, Copperplate Gothic, and Algerian. If you do any kind of design work, you’re cringing right now. I know the Golden State Warriors have almost singlehandedly made Copperplate Gothic cool again, but there’s no reason to use any of these. With free Google Fonts and scores of free or cheap font websites at your disposal, there’s no need for your church to use trite, overused fonts in anything that you design or print.
  3. Printed and Mailed Newsletters. Speaking of which, if you’re still printing and mailing church newsletters, you’re in the minority. Email newsletters have all but replaced the printed and mailed church newsletter. They are quicker to deliver, cheaper to produce, and are often more effective in communicating information to your congregation.
  4. Verbal Announcements. Of the items on this list, verbal announcements are dying the slowest death. But many churches are opting for video announcements or slides in lieu of taking time out of a worship service for someone to give the announcements.
  5. Phone Trees. Social media, email newsletters, and texting have all but eliminated phone trees. What would possibly take hours in the past can now be accomplished in an instant through one mass text or email.
  6. Church Facebook Groups. When Facebook first began offering pages and groups, many churches set up groups in lieu of pages. That’s been corrected over the past few years. Facebook groups are still used, but typically it’s not the main, outward-facing presence a church has on Facebook.
  7. Signup Forms. Online registration and payment systems have contributed to the death of signup forms. I can remember tables of signup forms from when I was a kid. Now, my church has several online forms where I can register my kids for events, sign up for Wednesday night dinner reservations, or pay for a book to use in my small group.

The above are from Thom's blog, below are my thoughts on what we can do about it.

OK  So, these worked in the past, and some are still working, I think # 6 still has value for internal communication.

So what's working now.

First, let's acknowledge that churches are competing with a multi-billion dollar marketing monster.  We are not going to win that game.

Second, people are busy.  So it's really, really, tough to get your messsage out. You need multiple ways of doing it.  People need to hear it 7 times in many different ways before they absorb it.

Third, Video is the new king.  Spend the money and get trained at www.thevj.com Worth every penny.  Start using video.  We live in a screen world.  You don't need a $20,000 camera, your iPhone is all you need.  Most people are watching video on their phones, so who cares if it's in HD.

Fourth, still, the absolute BEST way to communicate is via personal invitation.  This has the highest success rate of any tool out there.

Fifth.  Go old school.  Little cards, and hand written notes, yup, they work too.  Why cause in an impersonal world, a personal note sends a message.  You matter.

It's the Spiritual, Stupid.

James Carvelle made famous the statement, "It's the economy, stupid." in 1992 during the presidential election.  It was made to his campaign staff as a way to focus their attention on the central issue that he believed defined that election year.  This post is not about the election, it's about what is central to the life of people who follow in the walk of Jesus.

It's the Spiritual.

Now before I describe some new/old ways I'm attempting to recover a more focused life in the spirit, let me begin by acknowledging that Lutheran theologians have often guarded against dividing the spiritual and the material.  We tend to see God in the everyday.  We don't divide out the spiritual life from the meal at lunch, the crucial conversation with your boss or the work you are doing for affordable housing in your community.  It's all integrated.  That's true for me as well.  

Lately, I'm finding a need to find a center that will help me live into those everyday experiences. The shape they are taking is found in three resources.

First is exercise and diet.  I've written about this elsewhere, so I won't go in to detail here.  But I'm amazed how eating well and exercising, even if it's just a walk in the neighborhood, has helped me connect with my body.  There is a spirituality to that.

Second, is this little book of Psalms in the translation by Eugene Peterson. I love reading a Psalm either outloud or quietly to myself.  Check it out.  The Psalms will come to life for you in ways they haven't for a long time.  Traditionalists tend to not like the Message versions of some of their favorite passages, and I get that.  So don't use it for Psalm 23, but read Psalm 58 for a new twist on the political reality of life in the 5th century BCE, and see if it doesn't apply to today.  Or lift your spirits with Psalm 103.  Such life.  Peterson is a poet with language.

Third is a app on my phone called HeadSpace.  It's a program of guided meditation for 10 minutes.  I start out everyday with this meditation.  It helps me center and focus.  One ways I adjust the meditation is instead of counting my breaths, 1,2,3,4.. as instructed, I use the Hebrew word for God Yahweh.  Breathe in Yah, breathe out Weh.  My wife introduced this idea to me based on a reading of Richard Rohr.

My morning is now ten minutes of HeadSpace, followed by a reading of a Psalm.  It's my place of Peace with God before tackling the daily ups and downs of this spiritual/material mixed up life.  So, far it seems the Peace of God is working her way into the everyday.

Are churches declining more rapidly now?

Thom Rainer posted this today.

 

“In the past, I’ve been able to lead churches to growth. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

A pastor shared those sentences with me just three days ago.

He was frustrated. He was confused. He was exhausted.

And he is not alone.

With some exceptions, it is indeed more difficult to lead churches to growth. Such is a reality that is about 15 years in the making. The obvious question is “Why?” Allow me to articulate five of those reasons.

  1. Cultural Christianity is declining rapidly. It is really a misnomer to call it “cultural Christianity,” since it’s not true faith in Christ. In the past, many people felt it was culturally, economically, or politically advantageous to be a part of a congregation, even if they weren’t true believers in Christ. These attending non-believers padded our numbers. Or to say it another way, the pool of willing attenders has diminished greatly.
  2. The exit of the Builder generation. The Builder generation has kept many churches alive, even if the congregations are on life support. This generation, born before 1946, is fiercely loyal to institutions, including local churches. They stuck with congregations in good and bad times. But, in 2015, there were only 28 million Builders left. Another 13,000 Builders die every week. The loyal generation is few in number and will soon be no more.
  3. Migration from rural areas and small towns to the cities. In 1790, only 5% of Americans lived in cities. By the 1960s, the percentage of Americans in cities skyrocketed to 65%. Today over 80% of Americans are city dwellers. Rural and small-town churches held on tenaciously to their members for over two centuries. But the population base for those tenacious churches has dwindled dramatically.
  4. Faster church transfers. Those who are transferring from one church to another are concentrating in fewer churches. Simply stated, a few churches are getting bigger at the expense of smaller churches. While that phenomenon has been in play for quite a while, it is now accelerating. The old barrier that held people in specific churches – family connections, denominational loyalty, and loyalty to a specific congregation – are no longer barriers today. People move with great freedom from church to church.
  5. Slow response to change as change accelerates all around us. Many churches are incredibly slow to change. For most of our American history, the pace of cultural and technological change was sufficiently paced for churches to lag only five to ten years. Now churches are lagging 20 and 30 years as the pace of change increases dramatically. To many attendees and members, the church thus seems increasingly irrelevant. To be clear, I am speaking about issues of style, methodology, and awareness, not changing doctrine or biblical truths. A church guest I recently interviewed said it clearly: “I stuck with my parents’ church as long as I could. But when we had a big blow up over projection screens in the worship center, I had enough. I wanted to go to a church where matters of minutia were not issues to fight over.”

If you think it is more difficult to lead a church to growth, you are right. If you have noticed the decline in your church is greater, you are probably right as well. And if you are to the point of realization that your church may die in the next few years, it may come sooner than that.

Living in the Age of Anxiety

Volatile political rhetoric, violence, economic destabilization, disgruntled parents of a local cub scout troop and the local congregation – What do these things have in common?

As you all know, we live in an age of anxiety.  That anxiety is showing up in all of the above examples that I listed.  A friend of mine recently told me that in the last month or two, some of the parents in his cub scout troop have been acting in a more hostile manner than usual.  One of the parents has recently begun going around talking to other parents to complain about a change in the color coding of the leaders filing system.  From the outside, this sounds ridiculous, but the complaining parent has made it into a major issue.  This is disrupting what sounds like a pretty good scout troop.

What’s going on?

Whenever societies, tribes, families go through a time of change (which means everyone these days) it is always true that those who have the most difficulty taking responsibility for their own emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth will start to blame, accuse and sabotage.  We are in one of those times, and it’s clear we are not getting out of this any time soon.  What’s a cub scout leader to do?

 

I propose three quick and easy fixes that will solve all of your problems in less than 24 hours.  Yeah, right.  We live in an age of the quick fix, which of course we know, does not exist.  But, it does sell a lot of books and seminars.  I know of no quick fix, but here are some things I have learned, and continue to learn.

  1. 1.     My own temptation (and this is me, and may not be you) is to go toe to toe with the recalcitrant behavior.  One of the key learnings I’ve experienced is that is not only ineffective, it also does little to grow the capacity of the other parents of the scout troop.  It’s essential for me to gather other people, take them to lunch, seek their wisdom, share all the information, ask for help.  In other words, don’t go it alone.  You’ll be carrying the burden alone, absorbing all the anxiety.  Whenever, I find myself going it alone, I stop and call a friend, whose job it is to ask me the ghost busters question: “So, who ya gonna call?”
  2. 2.     Remember there is a difference between people who come to you with a complaint, and speak in a language that suggests reasoned thoughtfulness versus those that have gone overboard on a relatively small matter.  The first person often comes with “I” language, and even possible helpful suggestions.  The second person comes with accusatory and conspiratorial “you” language often siting chapter an d verse from constitutions, state criminal code and policy numbers from page 47 of the iTunes user agreement.  Obviously, engaging with person number one leads to solutions, engaging with person number two, is why you are continuing to read this post.
  3. 3.     In my experience, the parent in the cub scout troop who is threatening to file legal charges over the new color coding system of the six year olds, is most likely projecting some unresolved matter from their family of origin.  The reactivity, blame displacement, herding instinct are all symptomatic of “stuff” they have in their family.  How many times have I been on the receiving end of a viscious email, only later to discover the person has a major health crisis with themselves or another member of their family, a child going through a messy lawsuit, financial instability and 400,000 other possibilities.  My point here is that rarely is the issue the real issue.   Now, here is a cautionary note.  The reality is we can all become reactive and blaming.  Everyone one of us.  It’s part of protoplasm since the move out of Eden.  I point this out, because we all have the potential for thinking it’s all about the other person, and not about us.
  4. 4.     What’s particularly challenging is that I am more vulnerable when I’m more vulnerable.  Huh?  In other words, the cub scout parent seems to emerge around the same time that my daughter in Oregon suddenly needs extra attention, or my employer is changing the work schedule in such a way that messes up my ability to do my work/family life balance.  In other words, when %#(! Happens, more %$@! Happens.  Theologically speaking, Sin abounds.  It’s almost as if the forces of malfunction discover each other and sense an opportunistic infection. 
  5. 5.     I do two very concrete and specific things to maintain my own sanity.  First, I get deeper into my tradition.  For me that means, reading the Old Testament.  Those stories of prophets and kings.  The narratives of disruption and survival.  If all else fails, I go to the Psalms.  If nothing else, it reminds me that what I’m dealing with is not about the cub scout parents and color coded bands, it’s about a multi-thousand year old evolutionary process.  The other thing I try to do, is dream BIG.  Where do I want to be in 12 months, 24 months?  Where do I want the organization I’m leading to be?  I write it down. I rewrite it.  I try to get clearer and clearer on where I’m going, where we are going, where God is leading us.  Once I get super duper clear on that, I start talking about it.  Telling friends, then telling my enemies.  In a certain sense, I’m working on my own “I have a Dream" speech.  If appropriate, I’ll even stand up some day and give that speech.

And finally, if all else fails, just let the crazies take over the scout troop, walk away and go find something else to do on another planet - cause we all know there are seats available on the next rocketship.

We live in times that manifest anxiety, where the public discourse is giving permission for people to be mean and stupid.  The challenge for all of us is to dig deep into the inner resources that lead to maturity over data, stamina over technical solutions, and personal responsibility over niceness. This is stuff that’s true for presidents and parents, CEO’s, educators, coaches and pastors.

A resource that has helped me immensely is Ed Friedman’s A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. 

 

Responding to the Orlando Massacre

A LETTER FROM BISHOP JIM HAZELWOOD 

This past weekend we held the 29th Assembly of the New England Synod under the theme “No Reservations: A Place at the Table for Everyone.”

On Saturday, we received greetings from Imam Wissam Abdel-Baki and Interfaith and Outreach Coordinator Dr. Mohammad Saleem Bajwa of the Islamic Society of Western Massachusetts. That same afternoon, Lutherans and Muslims were working side-by-side packing meals to be served in local food pantries.

Throughout the Assembly, a number of people who identify within the LGBTQ community led worship and other exercises.

I left the Assembly inspired by the witness we are making in New England: The Lutheran expression of the Christian faith is boldly embracing of all God’s people.

I then began to read about the horrific tragedy in Orlando, where a man, armed with a “civilian version” of a military assault rifle, murdered 50 people. I am sickened, heartbroken and outraged.

I am shocked, and I deeply lament for the victims and their friends and families who have lost loved ones in this tragedy. I find myself running short of words, beyond those of sorrow and grief.

My insides are turned inside out; specters of death have me down.
I shake with fear, I shudder from head to foot.
Who will give me wings, I ask – wings like a dove?
Get me out of here on dove’s wings; I want some peace and quiet (Psalm 55, The Message)

I am heartbroken that the broad inclusiveness and love we as Lutherans demonstrated toward our Muslim brothers and sisters and LGBT leaders this weekend are potentially marred by this act. Perhaps more frustrating is the way this event is being used to promulgate a racial and religious bias against people in the Islamic community here and abroad.

Once again, we hear calls to ban groups of people based on their religion. This is both outrageous and unconstitutional. At the same time, this targeting of the nightclub in Orlando because of its LGBTQ clientele breaks my heart that still, in this 21st century, we allow God's children to be denigrated because of their sexual orientation. I am equally outraged that years of scapegoating LGBTQ people by some religious leaders — including in my own Christian tradition — have allowed this community to be abused, and have even directly or indirectly invited violence upon them.

God, put an end to evil; avenging God, show your colors!
Judge of the earth, take your stand; throw the book at the arrogant
God, the wicked get away with murder- how long will you let this go on? (Psalm 94, The Message)

While I support and treasure the Constitution of the United States as a living document – including its Second Amendment – I do not believe there is any case that can be made on moral, cultural or theological grounds for the easy availability of military-style assault rifles. How many times must we endure these kinds of tragedies?

Newtown … Aurora … Virginia Tech … San Bernardino … Charleston … Orlando …

The argument, often cited, that if an armed person were around, they could have stopped the shooter falls apart when the armed assailant is carrying an AR-15. What should we do? Have everyone carry an assault rifle? We are a nation of laws. We are governed by a code of communal loyalty. We are not, nor do we want to be, the wild west or Mogadishu. Can we at least agree that military-style assault rifles should not be available for sale on the open market?

Is this any way to run a country? Is there an honest politician in the house?
Behind the scenes you brew cauldrons of evil, behind closed doors you make deals with demons. (Psalm 58, The Message)

I am a bishop in this church for several reasons. One of them is my clear and unequivocal conviction that all people are Children of God. There are no buts, no exceptions. I deeply value our Muslim brothers and sisters. I love all of God's people in the LGBTQ community. I believe in the vital role of healthy religion as a voice in the republic, and value living in a place and a land where I am able to articulate that voice. My place in these times is for us to stand with those who can all too easily become the object of derision and scorn, while at the same time lift up that we are not a people of fear; we are a people of hope.

It seemed like a dream, too good to be true, when God returned the exiles.
We laughed, we sang, we couldn't believe our good fortune ...
And now God, do it again, bring rain to our drought-stricken lives. (Psalm 126, The Message)

The tragedy of Orlando is a symptom of a society increasingly focused on violence as the solution to all our debates. This tragedy will continue if we allow these two communities, Muslims and the LGBTQ community, to be pitted against one another for political gain. This tragedy will continue if we do not take a mature approach to regulating the easy access to assault rifles. This tragedy will continue if we allow hate to be the dominant voice.

Love conquers all, but not the love of sweet sentimentality or the cheap love that asks for nothing. The love that conquers all is a powerful voice in the public square. It is a love that calls for:

  • Change in our attitudes toward gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons
  • Change in our attitudes toward people of the Islamic faith
  • Change in our gun laws.

For God is sheer beauty, all-generous love, loyal always and ever. (Psalm 100, The Message)

In the name of:

The one who most profoundly embodied that love,

The one who experienced a violent death,

The one who would not let hate be the final word,

The one whose love conquers all,

Jesus the Christ.

Jim Signature

Bishop Jim Hazelwood

The Big 3

What are the BIG issues facing our world today?   I mean the BIG ones, the ones that if you tackled them, you'd be tackling the right issues.

 

For me

1.  The growing gap between the rich and the poor.

In my mind this is the big number one, because it impacts everyone.

2. Racism/Nationalism/Ethnic bias

The number one and number two are related, for sure.

3. Violence and the easing access to weaponry

I put this one here because it ratchets up the first two, and makes for a literally explosive situation, in neighborhoods and between nations.

Some one could probably argue that Climate Change should be on this list.  I hear that.  In my mind climate change is connected strongly with the distribution of wealth in number one.  But, if you wanted to name it as a separate item, I get it.

The Screen Generation aka Gen Z

Many are starting to write about our kids or in my case, grandkids.

Thom Rainer writes, and I'll editorialize.  You have heard a great deal about the 1980-200 generation often called the Millenials.  What about the next generation born 2000 to 2020.  I call them the Screen generation because they are the ones growing up with iPads and iPhones as the norm, nopt something new.   Some folks call them Generation Z

Their birth years are 2001 to 2020. The oldest Gen Zer is 15; the youngest has not yet been born.

We have much to learn about this young generation, but we have learned much already. Church leaders, particularly, need to keep an eye on this generation. There are some fascinating trends taking place.

For now, let’s look at ten things you should know about Gen Z.

  1. They will be the largest generation in history. Each of their birth years is already a large cohort. By the time 2020 concludes, this generation will include about 82 million people. They will supplant the Millennials who supplanted the Boomers as the largest generation.
  2. The majority of this generation is non-white. That is a first in the history of the United States.
  3. Hispanics are the fastest-growing group in Gen Z. It is simply a matter of fertility rates. Hispanic mothers have an average of 2.4 children, compared to black mothers (2.1), and Asian and white mothers (1.8).
  4. At least one of ten of this generation will marry across ethnic and racial and religious  lines. But the number could be higher.
  5. Homosexual marriage will be embraced as normative. But we cannot tell yet what percentage of Gen Z will be in a homosexual marriage, it's too early for estimates on that.
  6. Two historic events have shaped Gen Z. Most of them were not born when 9/11 took place, but their parents and others have made the event a part of their lives and insecurities. The second event, the Great Recession, is still a reality though the recession is officially over. Gen Z parents, and thus, their children still feel the impact of a weak jobs economy. (In addition, the fact that President Obama was/is such a dominate figure is significant.  THen there are the unseen events going forward.)
  7. Gen Z will be highly entrepreneurial. They have learned from their parents that you cannot trust an employer to take care of you. It is best to create your own job.
  8. Gen Z is and will be in church more regularly. I read one study by Joan Hope that noted a big spike in church attendance by Gen Z. My anecdotal observations confirm an increase in Gen Zers church attendance, but I was surprised by the magnitude of the increase in Hope’s study. We will need to monitor this behavioral pattern closely. (Those are Thom Rainer's words.  I'm not convinced, and I'm also concerned that people will read this and think, oh we can just keep doing what we are doing and wait for these kids to grow up.  Not gonna happen)
  9. Rapid change is normative for Gen Z. None of us could have imagined the Internet of Things or wearable technology or many other technological trends. They are normative for Gen Z. This generation is accustomed to rapid change. (What does this mean for worship, service, faith formation?)
  10. Gen Zers prefer personal contact. Yes, they are fully immersed in the Internet and social media, but they really want to have personal interaction. Perhaps it is because of the Internet and social media that they desire personal interaction. (But, careful here, it's not an either/or phenomenon but both/and)

The trends are early. The demographics are breathtaking. And the signs are, to a large extent, hopeful. Let me hear from you about Gen Z. But, this all points to a shift away from institutional structures, which we in the church are too wedded to at this time.

Weird ByLaws

Guest Blog post from Thom Rainer

Because I am so radically ecumenical (translation I steal from anyone) I subscribe to Thom Rainer's weekly email.  Tom speaks to and in the language of US American Evangelicalism.  He is a Southern Baptist. Today's email caught my attention, and I'm sure you will appreciate this one.  If you think our ELCA churches have some quirky characteristics, check this out.

"Sometimes reading a church’s bylaws is like taking a trip to the twilight zone.

Some are lengthy, very lengthy. Some are irrelevant. Some are unreadable.

And others are weird, really weird.

Knowing that I would get some incredible responses from my Twitter followers, I simply asked them if they were a part of a church with some weird bylaw provisions. Keep in mind, these are provisions in bylaws, not in a policy manual.

Here are my twelve favorites:

No one can bring a colored drink to church, especially red Kool-Aid. I wonder how many church members were sneaking that stuff in their flasks.
An active member is defined as one who gives at least one penny a year. Oh my. That would cut the Baptist church rolls in half.
There will be very specific guidelines regarding the church van (but the church doesn’t own a van). The new bylaws amendment will be called “the Uber amendment.”
Men serving communion are required to wear a coat and tie. I am totally flabbergasted they don’t have to wear pants.
The church has to have a minimum of five deacons (but the church only has 20 members). It may get complicated if one of the available deacon candidates is a preschooler.
No one can sell cassettes on church grounds. But 8-track tapes and vinyl records are fine.
No one is allowed to bring glitter to church. I am definitely boycotting this church!
No church member can be a part of a secret society. I wonder if that includes Democrats and Republicans.
No church member can drink alcohol except during the Lord’s Supper. So that’s why the Lord’s Supper day is always such a high attendance day!
No one can sell paintings on church grounds. This issue is indeed a pervasive sin in many churches.
No one can come to church with diarrhea. That’s okay. They probably wouldn’t pay much attention to the preaching anyway.
Members cannot have assigned pews. But you are allowed to bring your own personal chair."

Guest Blogger Pastor Jon Heydenreich

Jon is Lead pastor of Faith Lutheran in Andover, MA.

I invited him to pen an article on something that's working at his church.

Faith Lutheran meditation program

We started a centering prayer/guided meditation session at Faith Lutheran.  We meet once a week – discussion, scripture, guided meditation and communion. Typically, 4 – 13 people attend each week, age 8 to 78.  These are their reflections….  

My Prayer/Meditation  Practice…The daily practice of centering prayer has changed my life. It's a place, a space, a time, a process, a home that I go to and carry around with me all at the same time. Practicing centering prayer with others on Wednesday nights has been a gift. There really are no words to describe what I receive on those nights.

The daily practice of centering prayer has changed my daughter. The less I say, "hurry!" the less she says, "wait!"

My Prayer/Meditation Practice… What meditation has given me is space.  Prior to starting this last fall, my days were packed.  Packed with to-do lists, obligations, meetings…pressure, stress and anxiety.  Today, we have no less activities, but there is space.  Space in my mind, my heart; space for fun and reflection, and space to remember to listen fully, use a kind word and hug a little longer, smile more. 

My relationships with my children are deeper and richer, my teenage daughter speaks with me (in large part because when she speaks, I stop what I am doing and I am fully present.)  I have helped my younger daughter use meditation to get over anxiety and she uses meditative breathing to help study.  My husband and I no longer have logistics meetings, we converse, often over a cup of coffee; it has become a wonderful Saturday morning ritual.  In all areas of my life I feel more focused and more genuine.  I am learning to trust my instincts again, something I didn’t even know I had lost amidst all the distractions. 

My Prayer/Meditation Practice… The sign-up sheet read “Meditation - A Time for Stillness & Disconnection“. I joined the group to help me do just that … unplug from the wake of uncertainty from  tragic family calamity. Why not add a coping technique? Yet looking back, the irony is not lost on me… We forged great connections with our fellow meditation teammates as we learned to “disconnect together.”

     For me, our time together was an exploration as each session tended  to provide a foundation for me to seek, find and reflect in a rediscovery of faith. Midway, I ceased psychological counseling as Faith Lutheran had greater effect and tangibility.  Thoughtful communion was most definitely experienced with my companions in meditation. I believe that being there for one another helped me be there for me and helped me heal my family. Eyes closed & eye opening. Thank you.