On Thursday, my new book, Weird Wisdom for the Second Half of Life, releases and is available everywhere you like to buy books. But what is Weird Wisdom? This issue of Notebooks pulls an excerpt from the book’s introduction to explain all this weirdness.

 In 2007, just two years shy of my fiftieth birthday, I had the following dream during one of our service trips to a remote village in Honduras.

I have decided to enroll in a German language instruction class where professor H.S. is to be the instructor. (She is the same professor I had in waking life for my Spanish classes in preparation for this trip to Honduras.) We introduce ourselves on the final day of class, and I say that I am not very good at languages. This professor agrees with me. But I am in the class because I like to learn. We seem to be waiting for something, but no one knows who or what. Finally, the former bishop from New York arrives to much fanfare, like a head of state style welcome. His wife and two daughters accompany him. He is to preach at a worship service held at an ancient coliseum. Before the worship service, I learned that the pastor of the coliseum church was involved in a scandal of an undefined nature. The bishop decides to allow the man to work things through instead of removing him immediately. I seem pleased with his decision, and I wonder if I am that pastor. After the worship, the German/Spanish professor appears and approaches the bishop and me. She thanks the bishop and then turns to me and says, “You have a pastorate to rebuild.”

I held on to this dream for a long time before discussing it with anyone. Now, some fifteen years later, I can see its meaning. Glimpses of understanding unfolded over the years. It is a quintessential dream of a man at the turning point from the first half of life toward the second half. The dreamer, namely me, is to learn new languages. A feminine character will be the instructor. A bishop, a symbol of authority and reverence, arrives accompanied by three women, forming a symbol of complete wholeness. 

Carl Jung believed that symbols had powerful connections to the unconscious as well as the historical patterns of life. A symbol involving four is one such symbol. This gathering of four people, a man and three women, is but one example of a quaternity. Jung found these symbols of quaternity to point toward wholeness. “The quaternity is one of the most widespread archetypes and has also proved to be one of the most useful schemata for representing the arrangement of the functions by which the conscious mind takes its bearings. It is like the crossed threads in the telescope of our understanding. The cross formed by the points of the quaternity is no less universal and has in addition, the highest possible moral and religious significance for Western man. Similarly, as the symbol of completeness and perfect being, the circle is a widespread expression for heaven, sun, and God; it also expresses the primordial image of man and the soul.” (Jung, “The Psychology of the Transference,” CW Vol., 16, par., 405.)

The bishop preaches at an ancient coliseum, where a scandal-ridden pastor presides. But the bishop allows the man to stay and “work things through.” And the concluding line captures it all. Addressing the dreamer, the professor says, “You have a pastorate to rebuild.” In other words, the turn toward the second half of life involves a new structure, a new language, and a time to rebuild the inner landscape. (By the way, this dream was a god five years before I ended up being elected to this office in 2012, which adds a peculiar quality to the dream)

I had spent my 20s, 30s, and 40s creating or building a life, a family, a career. My efforts and gifts resulted in achievements, recognition, family. Yet, in my late 40s, I began to flatten out. Our son headed off to college, and the work no longer energized me. I dabbled in hobbies and considered leaving the ministry for another career. Then, two years before this dream, my father died at 78. I now wondered how much time I had on this earth. The lyrics from the Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime echoed through my mind. 

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile 

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife 

And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here? 

I asked how I got there, where it was all going, and what does this life mean? I’ve spent the last fifteen years asking those and many other questions. The answers I’ve found are, well, they’re weird. There are many different takes on this chapter of life, which we often call mid-life. Most of the advice centers around losing weight, exercising more, eating healthy, encore career planning. Much of that can be helpful, and books addressing those topics have served me well. But the path through the second half of life is more than what we do externally. It also involves an internal or spiritual journey. 

The late John Romig Johnson, Episcopal priest and Jungian analyst, once told me as I sat in his office, “When people hit midlife, they discover three things. One. Life is not fair. Two. They are a lot more like their parents than they wish to admit. Three. They have a soul.” 

Despite an early vocational calling to serve as a Lutheran pastor along with a graduate education from two theological schools, I’m not sure I realized the importance of soul work until somewhere in the middle passage of life. What I’ve learned through the years, and keep learning, by the way, involves some weird concepts, ideas, and stories. This book explores them through a WEIRD approach. 

WONDER 

ENCHANTMENT 

INTEGRITY 

RELATIONSHIPS 

DESTINY 

This is a book for people over 40 or 50. Sure, you can try and give it to that niece or nephew just getting out of grad school or finishing up their tour of duty in the Navy. I won’t mind if you purchase more copies of this book. But that young person probably can’t relate to this one. Honestly, they shouldn’t relate. They are at a different stage in life. They are supposed to be building their first half-lives. So I think you are better off encouraging them and celebrating their achievements. After all, life is also about building up; let’s give them the time and encouragement to do so. Career, family, success, achievement, promotions, children, and social impact are all essential aspects of maturing in our society. So, let’s throw a party and honor their progress. That’s all first half of life work. 

But us post-50 types are likely to realize that a shift has occurred, and we might be open to some weirdness. As I enter my sixth decade, I’ve become aware of the growing number of books on the second half of life. They include proposals for encore careers, retirement planning, and better health and exercise. Those books provide a rich opportunity as you explore the outer landscape of life. This book is focused on the inner journey. What are the inner areas that need our attention? 

You'll find several stories among the various tools we will use in seeking this weird wisdom. I use contemporary vignettes from people I’ve known, ancient myths and fairy tales, sacred stories from biblical literature as well as from other religions. I also describe my own memories, dreams, and reflections. Stories are central to our lives. We human beings are meaning-seeking creatures. Because of this, we tell stories, live stories. You could say we are story creatures. So, this book contains a variety of stories. As you read, I hope you will also find your story here.

In addition, the Preface includes this note:

This book needed a subtitle. But the marketing department opposed the idea. Nevertheless, I’ve added it. This is “a book for men and those who value them.” In many ways, this is an autobiographical sketch of my path across the bridge from the first half of my life to the second half. Because I am a man, I can’t help but write about my experience. While there is a lot here for women as well, and I’ve researched and spoken to many, it goes without saying that everything on these pages goes through a filter. That filter is this 60-plus-year-old white guy, firstborn in a family of three boys and cursed/blessed with a call to exercise leadership in the context of spirituality.

But this book is also intended to be an alternative voice in the now crowded field of books on retirement, encore careers, mid-life, and next phase of life planning. Most of those books focus on the external world of people, places, and productivity. Instead, this one asks about the inner world of mind, soul, and legacy.

The world needs both approaches.

So, for all of you scratching your head in this second half, wondering what’s going on, I hope this book helps.